The Male Mother: The Missing Skill Set in Fathers.
This book is the first in a series of four books aimed at helping men develop and integrate their feminine side. The culture has emphasized the masculine side of men and devalued the feminine side.
This has left many fathers, who may want to be a vital part of raising their kids, without the nurturing skills necessary to do the job. I have yet to meet a father who honestly said they were pleased with their performance as a father. Most men secretly carry regrets, guilt and shame over the admittedly poor job they did parenting their children. This book will help fathers be more confident and effective in raising their children.
One feature of the book is a description of four essential initiations that fathers need to perform to ensure their children grow up to be mature, responsible adults. The book shows fathers how to facilitate the completion of key developmental processes necessary for optimal growth and well-being. The essential male mother skills are described below.
What Are the Essential Male Mother Skills?
What are the essential male mother skills that you as a father need to impart in order to be able to help your children become mature individuated persons? Those skills are as follows:
- You have the ability to create and model for your children a lifestyle that emphasizes life-giving beliefs and behaviors toward humans, plants, animals and all that are vulnerable and dependent. This serves as a protective function.
- You possess the skills to demonstrate for your children how to use their personal power wisely. You will teach them through your interactions with them how to avoid taking the life force of others in any way. This means they will not have to utilize behaviors such as domination, threats, manipulation, exploitation and acts of violence in order to meet their needs.
- You have the skills to use your mind and heart at the same time so you can resolve difficult situations in such a way that your children learn to do it as well.
- You are able to express genuine sorrow about the suffering they and others experience in such a way that your children learn how to suffer.
- You display genuine empathy toward your children when they are experiencing deep emotions.
- You speak and act in ways that nurture the development of your children’s highest good.
- You are able to look your children in the eyes and can connect with them, even at a soul level.
- You show compassion toward your children even when they oppose you or express negative feelings toward you.
- You forgive your children’s failings, without judgment or shame.
- You seek peaceful resolution of any conflicts with your children and take into account their needs when resolving conflicts.
- You are comfortable with appropriate physical, mental and emotional intimacy with your children, and do not erect barriers to these experiences.
- You can negotiate effectively with your children to get your needs met, without diminishing their needs.
- You can access to the wisdom of the heart or, your intuition, and are able to show your children how to use this skill in guiding their lives.
- You are able to quickly regulate your emotional state when you are upset by a triggering event involving your children.
- You can receive what your children say and do without resistance or judgment.
- You are able to give emotional support, mirroring an unconditional love to your children rather than just giving them advice.
- You can take charge of your life without feeling guilt or shame, and teach your children how to do the same. A crucial skill to teach your children.
Here is an in-depth interview of Barry about why he wrote the The Male Mother book.
First the podcast video promo:
And the complete podcast (47 minutes):
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Interview with Barry Weinhold, for the March edition of Heal Myself Magazine
Interview conducted by Dr Lara Honos-Webb, Psychologist, Author and ADHD Expert
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