The Authentic Family: Blog Posts

Up, Up and Away! Carl Donovan and Aric Rohner, our long-time Asheville, NC tech team at Opus Marketplace, have given our sites fresh new looks, and did a super job of reorganizing them to better meet your needs. They’ve streamlined the menus, simplified the navigation, built a more responsive layout for all three sites, and […]

Our Theory of  LOVEvolution Our theory of LOVEvolution is based on the principles of vibrational frequency. It recognizes that all energy can be measured and assigned a frequency that ranges between total apathy (not hate) and unconditional love. Energy coming from anger, shame, judgment and fear, for example, all rank very low on this scale, while the […]

For many years, we used Developmental Process Work (DPW) as our clinical modality to help people heal experiences of developmental shock, trauma, and stress. As our understanding of developmental trauma expanded, we realized that it caused many people to close their hearts to protect themselves from further suffering. Unfortunately, this also energetically disconnected them from those […]

BREAKING FAMILY PATTERNS BOOK 1: How To Identify Your Family Patterns What you don’t know can hurt your relationships. Dysfunctional family patterns left over from childhood can ruin your adult relationships and you won’t even know why—unless you read this book.  Click Here to Purchase This Book Breaking Family Patterns, a new Kindle release from […]

Our clinical resources are designed to treat developmental stress, trauma and shock in individuals, couples and families. Heart-Field Therapy (formerly DPW), our clinical model, helps people heal the lingering effects of early relational experiences so that they are able to open their hearts, receive conditional love, and share it with others. Our clinical resources help […]

By: Barry K. Weinhold, Ph.D. Revolutions are about changing the world. Here is my vision of a force in our universe that not only can change our world, but also determines the course of human evolution. We call this force LOVEvolution. Science has known for some time that Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection just doesnt […]

Barry K. Weinhold, Ph.D. The good news and bad news often show up together. I’ll start with the bad news. The research of Dr. Mary Main and her associates at UC Berkeley have been doing research on how infants form their early attachments to their parents in the first year of life. In their long-term follow-up studies […]

Recognizing Symptoms of Developmental Trauma in Children Recognizing the symptoms of developmental trauma in children can be difficult. The symptoms of developmental trauma are more subtle and therefore often invisible to the untrained eye. In infants, symptoms of developmental trauma include a panicked look in the infant’s eyes, a frantic searching for the mother’s face, […]

Barry K. Weinhold, Ph.D. Have you wondered how do hidden developmental traumas affect adult health? You will need to read this blog. In 1995, Kaiser Permanente surveyed 17,000 adults from Southern California where they found significant correlations between adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and adult physical health problems. They found that the more ACEs you had, […]

By Barry K. Weinhold, Ph.D. Many people hold twisted beliefs that cause them to suffer from premature hardening of the categories. Below is a list of common twisted beliefs that many smart people hold about themselves, other people and the world around them. These twisted beliefs cause them to suffer from what I call ”premature […]

Con artists, also known as grifters, scammers, schemers, swindlers, hustlers and crooks, take advantage of trusting and unsuspecting victims. Con artists see anyone who is lonely, insecure, unprotected, in poor health, or are innocent or ignorant as a “mark.” Vulnerability of any kind makes you vulnerable to con artists. About Con Artists Emotionally, con artists are […]

Breaking Free Of Addictive Family Patterns is a classic in the self-help book market. It was first released in 1987 and has gone through five other editions before this expanded edition. Thousands of folks, like you, have read the book and sent me reports about how much it helped them. Here is what some of them […]

The Male Mother: The Missing Skill Set in Fathers. Click here to buy this book. This book is the first in a series of four books aimed at helping men develop and integrate their feminine side. The culture has emphasized the masculine side of men and devalued the feminine side. This has left many fathers, […]

The drama triangle is the name of a psychological and social game that involves indirect and dysfunctional communication. The term, “Drama Triangle,” was first identified in 1968 by Stephen Karpman, an MD who practiced Transational Analysis. The Drama Triangle is now used in psychology and psychotherapy to describe a rotating series of dysfunctional behavioral roles […]

Developmental trauma is the result of abandonment, abuse, and neglect during the first three years of a child’s life that disrupts cognitive, neurological and psychological development and attachment to adult caregivers. Developmental trauma, a new term in the field of mental health, has roots in both developmental psychology and traumatology. Developmental trauma is inflicted on […]

Con artists, also known as grifters, scammers, schemers, swindlers, hustlers and crooks, take advantage of trusting and unsuspecting victims. Con artists see anyone who is lonely, insecure, unprotected, in poor health, or are innocent or ignorant as a “mark.” Vulnerability of any kind makes you vulnerable to con artists. About Con Artists Emotionally, con artists are […]

What is a Dysfunctional Family? Dysfunctional families are everywhere. My take on it is that about 97 percent of our families were dysfunctional in some ways and the other 3 percent are in recovery. In other words we all came from families that were dysfunctional in some ways. The trick is to know what was […]

Parents raising their first child need help in knowing when to seek help so they can learn the difference between “normal” and “not-normal” development and behaviors. They depend on other family members and their pediatricians to help them learn these distinctions. And because there’s such a variation in the speed at which children develop, it’s difficult […]

The concept of protecting children changes as children go through the four stages of development. The kind of protection that children need as infants is very different from what they need as teens. So parents and adult caregivers must always be tracking where children are on the “risk scale” and monitoring them based on these […]

Positive mental health in children involves “prevention thinking” and the use of “care practices” based on new research and theory in developmental psychology. Forward thinking childcare providers, early childhood educators and infant mental health specialists now all recognize that children require the same kind of foundational and relational experiences during the first five years of […]

Independence training for children between the ages of three and five is vital to their future growth and development. This is particularly true if their developmental needs for bonding and emotional separation were met during codependent and counterdependent stages of development. Children who are the most ready for independence training are those who aren’t hampered by […]

Janae B. Weinhold, Ph.D.  The biggest daily challenge in parenting is discipline and setting limits for children. Most children challenge their parents by testing the limits over and over. The second biggest challenge is enduring children’s upsets when faced with the consequences, physical and social limits that their parents give them. These and the natural […]

Janae B. Weinhold, Ph.D. Securely bonded children act self-confident, have strong self-esteem and function at high levels socially, emotionally, mentally and physically. They are able to engage in reciprocal relationships, able to both give and receive love. They are compassionate, express concern about the feelings and needs of others, have well-developed creativity and cooperate with […]

The ground-breaking research in birth and pre-and perinatal development began with Thomas Verny’s (1981) book, The Secret Life of the Unborn Child. He was the first to summarize all the relevant research in this field. The publication of his book was a catalyst for founding the Association for Pre- and Perinatal Psychology and Allied Health. […]

Consciously parenting children begins with understanding that they are born totally aware. Rather than being lumps of unmolded clay as once believed, they are acutely sensitive to the world around them. Their highly tuned sensory systems respond energetically to everything they encounter, including experiences involving unconditional love and conflict. Children instinctively open to receive love […]

Janae B. Weinhold Help for children with high-risk behaviors has emerged during the past twenty-five years. Play therapy is a very popular and effective clinical tool that helps the children heal developmental trauma through dramatic play activities. Other experiential therapies for children include sand tray therapy, which uses a small sand box and miniature figures […]

Families are society’s foundation because they provide a template for all other relationships. Here we learn about ourselves, about others, and about how the world works. Families create a relational structure or model that we use for the rest of our lives, particularly in parenting our own children. This part of our website contains many […]

The Weinholds believe that sustainable relationships create a social safety net for people during times of economic uncertainty, political instability and rapid global climate. These videos examine the importance of having a web of relationships that provide social and emotional support during times of rapid change.

People are either life-givers or life-takers. Life-givers are relationally-oriented and have open compassionate hearts. Life-takers have closed hearts and are don’t care about the welfare of others. Life-givers Life-givers give life. This instinct is so much a part of them that they don’t even think about it. They just respond instinctively to innocence, vulnerability and […]

The Flight From Intimacy YouTubes identify counterdependency as the result of developmental trauma between the age of 9 and 36 months. This trauma prevents the completion of the “pyschological birth” and a child’s emotional separation from his or her parents.The premise of The Flight From Intimacy is that counterdependency is a set of behaviors that […]

Self-Help Tools From Our “LOVE-atory” Our many self-help tools for healing grew out of our own self-healing work. We looked at how other couples were coping with relational issues such as codependency and conflict, and couldn’t really find tools that helped us break through and break free of our family-of-origin issues. So we decided to […]

What Are Your Family Death Patterns? There are family death patterns and beliefs about dying that if not understood and changed can cause your death. Two seemingly unrelated things happened last week that reminded me of my family death patterns. On Friday, I played in a club tennis tournament with my “old fart” tennis buddies, […]

Most people find it difficult to believe that likeable, sociable people could be fakes—that behind their smiling masks they are scheming to hurt, deceive and dominate. Con artists look pretty much like everyone one else. Their brains, however, are wired quite differently and they have a host of predatory values, beliefs and behaviors that make conning […]

Barry K. Weinhold Inner work is the ability to use the skills of self-refection and self correction to transform your relationship with yourself and with the world. The concept of “inner work” is part of many spiritual traditions and psychological approaches, and includes the use of tools such as mindfulness, prayer, meditation and chanting. Most […]

Your Health and the related posts below contain information about how we maintain our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. This part of our website features some of the evolutionary health resources that we’ve used to shift our consciousness and have supported us in healing ourselves physically, mentally, and spiritually. Who Is Your Primary Medical […]

If you are looking for personal growth, we recommend creating conscious, committed intimate relationships.  Personal growth happens naturally when partners work cooperatively to help each other heal the wounds they brought to the relationship from their family of origin. Our approach to personal growth emphasizes “inner work,” because each person ultimately must look inward in […]

Family conflicts emerge as soon as three people gather for a common purpose. This is because “three” creates a triangle, considered to be the most stable geometric form in both social and physical worlds.  This makes staying conscious and clear in a family system challenging, as members’ unrecognized and unhealed developmental trauma will unconsciously trigger […]

Developmental trauma is a breakthrough term that draws from both the fields of developmental psychology and traumatology. Developmental trauma is unconsciously inflicted on infants and children and most often without malicious intent by adult caregivers who are unaware of children’s social and emotional needs. Our definition of developmental trauma recognizes the chronic effects of subtle […]

Victim consciousness is a stage of consciousness in which people deny personal responsibility for the things that happen on their lives. People in victim consciousness believe that the world is acting upon or against them, and they are the innocent targets of other people’s action or behavior. They are unable to recognize that their own […]

Our approach to addictions correlates addictions with unresolved trauma and the fear of encountering the emotions associated with this trauma. We believe that addictions serve a useful but dysfunctional purpose. Addictions serve as coping mechanisms to help people avoid emotional pain and unwanted feelings. In the long term, addictions are protective behaviors that keeps people […]

The primary cause of relationship conflicts is unmet emotional needs related to developmental traumas from childhood. As a relationship becomes more intimate and feels safe, these unmet needs will begin to emerge. Of course, this is all happening at an unconscious level. Most people aren’t even aware that they have unmet needs. So when relationship […]

Meet the Weinholds. They are authors, lifelong teachers, cosmologists, developmental psychologists and licensed mental health professionals. Barry and Janae are also are devoted partners, parents of four children between them and grandparents of three. As part of their quest for higher consciousness and their desire to understand evolution at all levels, they have traveled extensively, […]

Our resources for supporting human evolution are anchored in developmental psychology and described in our Developmental Systems Theory (DST). DST examines the role that early childhood experiences play in either advancing or blocking human development. DST consists of a four-stage developmental model through which all human systems and humanity must go in order to evolve as […]

Heart Field Therapy and Epigenetics Heart Field Therapy’s (HFT) scientific foundation fills a theoretical gap in the field of epigenetics. Now one of the most active areas of scientific research, epigenetics looks at how relational environments influence the activity of genes. The science of epigenetics works with electromagnetic forces, molecules and fields of vibrating energy. It […]

Building sustainable relationships requires learning new interpersonal skills, a disciplined commitment and the ability to love unconditionally. There aren’t any magical solutions for building sustainable relationships and lasting love–no quick tricks, fast fixes or fancy maneuvers. We aren’t selling “magical thinking” or magical tools. And the people who are selling this kind of stuff are […]

Our evolutionary resources are based on the concept that unconditional love drives evolution, and that people evolve when they are able to give and receive unconditional love. Our theory of LOVEvolution describes and explains how life evolves through the presence and power of unconditional love in both the seen and unseen worlds.

The False Self is an artificial persona that people create very early in life to protect themselves from re-experiencing developmental trauma, shock and stress in close relationships. This False or “public” Self appears polite and well-mannered, and puts on a “show of being real.” Internally, they feel empty, dead or “phoney,” unable to be spontaneous […]

The desire for revenge or getting even after being betrayed or victimized is so strong that it can literally draw more abuse to you. This is true even if the abuse happened long ago when you were a child. This story is about getting even. Sarah was mugged by a stranger while walking in her […]

Building sustainable relationships requires learning new interpersonal skills, a disciplined commitment and the ability to love unconditionally. There aren’t any magical solutions for building sustainable relationships and lasting love–no quick tricks, fast fixes or fancy maneuvers. We aren’t selling “magical thinking” or magical tools. And the people who are selling this kind of stuff are […]

The search for intimacy has reached new heights as more than 40 million lonely Americans used online dating services last year. The search for soul mates and other kinds of “perfect match” partners has caused an explosion of internet match services and social networking sites, showing just how many people are searching for intimacy and […]

Counter-dependency is not a disease. It is a set of protective adult behaviors caused by unseen and unhealed developmental traumas that happened between the ages of nine and 36 months—the toddler or “terrible twos” stage of development. Your can change these behaviors by healing the underlying traumas that are causing them. Healing counter-dependent behaviors as […]

Developmental Trauma During the Toddler Stage of Development Counterdependency is a set of protective adult behaviors that are caused primarily by developmental trauma between the ages of nine and 36 months—the toddler or “terrible twos” stage of development. During this period of time, children are separating from their mother and the dependency needs they have […]

BREAKING FAMILY PATTERNS: How To Change Your Family Patterns What you don’t know can hurt your relationships. Dysfunctional family patterns left over from childhood can ruin your adult relationships and you won’t even know why—unless you read this book. Click the link below to order it directly from Amazon: Breaking Family Patterns: How to Change Your […]

Twisted religious and spiritual beliefs can have destructive consequences on our lives. Our beliefs, formed in early childhood, are often and can keep us trapped in cycles of victim/persecutor/rescue dynamics. The message of Christian churches is that you are a sinner, which is reinforced by church doctrine and dogma. So you are condemned for being […]

Time-in vs. Time-out are two very different ways approaches to managing children’s behavior. Time-out is typically used as punishment, while Time-In teaches children learn how regulate their emotions. In order for children to thrive emotionally, they must develop skills in emotional self-regulation. In order for children to learn self-regulation, they need specific things present in […]

Parentizing children is an intergenerational relational pattern that is the most common cause of adult co-dependency, and involves something known as the reversal process. In reversal processes, parents and other caregiving adults unconsciously use children to meet their own emotional and psychological needs. Rather than the adults caring for their children, parentized children learn to […]

Barry K. & Janae B. Weinhold Moving to the LOVEvolution track from the Trauma Track involves modifying the relational template hardwired into your brain during the first three years of your life. Movement from one track of life experience to the other also requires loving and supportive relationships that modify your brain function, and ultimately, […]

Developmental shock experiences happen without any conscious control or effort because they are regulated by the autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system has three parts: the parasympathetic, sympathetic and Social Engagement System. These parts all work together to help people maintain an internal sense of emotional balance. The Autonomic Nervous System The sympathetic system […]

Developmental trauma is a breakthrough term that draws from both the fields of developmental psychology and traumatology. Developmental trauma is unconsciously inflicted on infants and children and most often without malicious intent by adult caregivers who are unaware of children’s social and emotional needs. Our definition of developmental trauma recognizes the chronic effects of subtle […]

Early experiences involving developmental shock, trauma and stress form the foundation for intractable conflict in adult relationships. Developmental psychologist John Bowlby said in 1969 that early relational experiences create a child’s internal working model of reality. Longitudinal research by Krause & Haverkamp in 1996 indicated that the internal working model of reality remains virtually unchanged […]

Our research on developmental trauma began in the mid-1980s. Our heuristic research involved a subjective search through which we discovered the nature and meaning of early traumatic experiences on human development. Our research lead to the creation of methods and procedures for further investigation and analysis. In general, heuristic research methods help explain how and […]

In the traumatology literature, stress is typically associated with post-traumatic stress and the Adrenal Stress Response, and not recognized as its own discrete category. It is typically lumped together with trauma and shock. Because there is already an abundance of information on these topics in the literature, we are address them separately in our book […]

Infants often experience developmental shock during the bonding stage. When they experience abandonment, abuse or neglect during the bonding stage fall directly into shock states. Their Mindbodies are so energetically attuned with their caregivers that they are truly devastated when they experience a break in their bonding. They are acutely aware of nonverbal communication with […]

We believe that conscious, committed relationships are the best way to experience personal growth and transformation. Personal growth happens naturally when partners help each other heal the wounds they brought to the relationship from their family of origin. Our approach to personal growth emphasizes “inner work,” because each person ultimately must look inward in order […]

By Barry K. Weinhold I created a transformational approach that I used during my 30 years as a counselor educator at the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs, and as a psychologist counseling clients. I found teaching & therapy to be opportunities for transformation and for facilitating shifts in consciousness.

The secret of Divine Relationships is synching our conscious mind with our unconscious mind. When these two minds are out of synch, the unconscious mind takes over. Rather than experiencing our divinity in relationships, we are controlled by trauma from the past and disconnected from those closest to us.

The secret of Divine Relationships is synching our conscious mind with our unconscious mind. When these two minds are out of synch, the unconscious mind takes over. Rather than experiencing our divinity in relationships, we are controlled by trauma from the past and disconnected from those closest to us.

Janae B. Weinhold Insecurely bonded children tend to be anxious, withdrawn, isolated, aggressive, lack confidence, have low self-esteem. They also function at less than optimal levels socially, emotionally, mentally and physically. Insecure bonding is an unsafe and unpredictable state that develops as a result of living in a fear-based environment. It is the primary cause […]

Janae B. Weinhold It is important to create social and emotional environments that foster positive mental health in children. They need stimulating activities, and consistent schedules that allow them to gently transition between activities. They also need protection from harm, particularly from other aggressive children, and firm but loving guidance that helps them develop optimally. […]

Barry K. Weinhold, Ph.D. I can’t believe they finally told the truth. Last week, the President’s Cancer Panel (PCP), composed of leading cancer researchers and practitioners issued a report titled, Reducing Environmental Cancer Risk: What We Can Do Now, describing the true environmental risks of cancer chemicals. LaSalle Leffall, Jr., M. D., Professor of Surgery […]

The mother’s care during the birthing process is important because this delicate period is crucial to preventing developmental trauma during childbirth. The birthing process becomes a critical part of the child’s relational template and internal working model of the world. Developmental trauma during the birth often causes deep a relational disconnect between mother and child. […]

Birthing positions can be a cause of developmental trauma during a child’s birth. The trauma can be prevented by using more natural birthing positions that allow the mother to squat. This is possible during underwater births, which have been practiced for since the 1970s years in France and Russia and appeared more recently in California. […]

The role of siblings in the birthing process is now recognized as a critical moment for sibling bonding, and help prevent sibling rivalry later within the family. Until recently, young siblings were not allowed to visit the hospital at a birth, and most are still prohibited or discouraged from being physically present at the birth […]

Fathers play a critical role in the birthing process in supporting both the mother and the child. Birth is an important window for bonding with the child in ways that fathers describe as “profound” and “life-changing.” Marshall Klaus and John Kennell (1976) found that it was very important for the father to be present for […]

A group of dedicated professionals, calling themselves the Coalition for Improving Maternity Services, formed a powerful alliance in the summer of 1996 to promote a wellness model of maternity care. They outlined a set of ten principles they call "The Mother-Friendly Childbirth Initiative: Ten Steps to Mother-Friendly Hospitals, Birth Centers, and Home Birth Services." When […]

The birthing process itself can have profound effects on the development of a child. The research of Klaus and Kennell (1976), who popularized the word “bonding,” created the first scenario for optimal birthing conditions. According to their findings, the nude newborn should be placed on the mother’s chest near her breast immediately after birth. Then […]

If we all are naturally empaths as Jeremy Rifkin suggests in his new book, The Empathic Civilization, how do we protect our hearts from taking on all the problems of the world and doing damage to ourselves This question came to us when a friend of ours who is an empath and a school counselor […]

Author Jeremy Rifkin’s latest book, The Empathy Civilization, traces the empathic evolution of the human race and the profound ways it has shaped our development and will likely decide our fate as a species. Rifkin’s alternative view of evolution is very similar to the evolutionary path that we refer to as LOVEvolution our new book, […]

We got a lot of inspiration from Tara and Bella about making close relationships work . . . we hope you do too.

Parentizing children is perhaps the most common cause of adult co-dependency. This intergenerational phenomenon involves something known as the reversal process, in which parents and other caregiving adults unconsciously use children to meet their own emotional and psychological needs. Rather than the adults caring for their children, children learn to take care of the adults. […]

Listen to Barry & Janae’s interviews on how to heal personal developmental trauma:

Counter-dependency and the flight from intimacy are a set of avoidance behaviors that protect people from re-experiencing intense emotions related to developmental trauma that happened between the ages of nine and 36 months. These avoidance behaviors are specifically designed to block past memories and emotions from emerging in their present-time relationships. Counterdependency is not a […]

Building sustainable relationships requires learning new interpersonal skills, a disciplined commitment and the ability to love unconditionally. There aren’t any magical solutions for building sustainable relationships and lasting love–no quick tricks, fast fixes or fancy maneuvers. We aren’t selling “magical thinking” or magical tools. And the people who are selling this kind of stuff are […]

Breaking Free of the Co-dependency Trap YouTube identifies co-dependency as the result of developmental trauma during the first nine months of life that prevents the completion of the infant-parent bonding process.The premise of Breaking Free of the Co-dependency Trap radically challenges the prevailing definition of co-dependency as a permanent, progressive, and incurable addiction. Co-dependency is […]

Janae B. Weinhold Trauma is defined as an overwhelming psychological experience that causes changes in the biological stress response. When children’s psychological and emotional needs are either not met in an appropriate and/or timely manner, these experiences are traumatic. They become hard-wired into the child’s brain and leave biological and physical symptoms of trauma. These […]

Janae B. Weinhold Trauma is defined as an overwhelming psychological experience that causes changes in the biological stress response. When children’s psychological and emotional needs are either not met in an appropriate and/or timely manner, these experiences are traumatic. They become hard-wired into the child’s brain and leave biological and physical symptoms of trauma.These earliest […]

Janae B. Weinhold Children’s emotional needs initially get met through their relationships with adult caregivers via reciprocal interactions involving giving and receiving love. This reciprocal interaction is also known as bonding, an interactive process that occurs through repeated daily interactions such as feeding, changing diapers, playing, bathing, rocking and exploring. Bonding also involves emotionally charged […]

Janae B. Weinhold Children’s emotional needs initially get met through their relationships with adult caregivers via reciprocal interactions involving giving and receiving love. This reciprocal interaction is also known as bonding, an interactive process that occurs through repeated daily interactions such as feeding, changing diapers, playing, bathing, rocking and exploring.Bonding also involves emotionally charged exchanges […]

Janae B. Weinhold High-risk kids have become a serious social problem in the past few years. There has been a dramatic increase in the number of children being identified as violent, defiant, hyperactive and suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder. Teens and young children involved in school shootings have captured national attention and created a ripple […]

Janae B. Weinhold, Ph.D. Prenatal/One Year Directions: If the following behaviors are present, rank them between 0 and 5 depending on the severity and then total this group. _____ Premature birth _____ Prolonged labor _____ Birth induced and/or accelerated with the use of Pitocin _____ Born with cord around the neck _____ Caesarian birth _____ Prolonged […]

Janae B. Weinhold, Ph.D. Prenatal/One Year Directions: If the following behaviors are present, rank them between 0 and 5 depending on the severity and then total this group. _____ Premature birth _____ Prolonged labor _____ Birth induced and/or accelerated with the use of Pitocin _____ Born with cord around the neck _____ Caesarian birth _____ […]

Healing Developmental Trauma, Janae Weinhold & Barry Weinhold, 2010The Flight From Intimacy, Janae Weinhold & Barry Weinhold, 2008 Birth Without Violence. Frederick Leboyer. 1975.Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting. Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn.Ghosts from the Nursery: Tracing the Roots of Violence. Robin Karr-Morse, Meredith Wiley, T. Berry Brazelton. 1998 Becoming Attached: First Relationships […]

Hamer’s 5th biological law merely restates his premise that every degenerative condition is part of an SBS created to assist the organism in resolving or healing a conflict/shock at the biological level. He summarizes this law as follows: Blinded, we brought upon ourselves this senseless, soulless and brutal medicine. Full of wonder, we can now […]

Hamer’s fourth biological law describes how microbes help heal the effects of an SBS on body organs and tissues. He applies this law through each of the three germ layers. The endoderm and old-brain mesoderm produce fungi and TB bacteria. During the healing phase, fungi such as Candida Albicans or TB bacteria help decompose the cells […]

Hamer states that whether or not the body organ or tissue responds to the related conflict with cell proliferation or with tissue loss is predetermined by a biological pattern that correlates with the evolutionary development of the human brain. This is the core of his third biological law. This law shows the correlation between the […]

Hamer’s second biological law describes two phases to the whole SBS process, provided the conflict is resolved. The first phase he calls the conflict active phase and the other the conflict healing phase. Interestingly, he found that the conflict active phase can cause cell proliferation in the organ if that is needed to facilitate the […]

Dr. Ryke Hamer founded German New Medicine after extensive research and a therapeutic practice as an oncologist dating back to 1979. His paradigm contains Five Biological Laws that he claims totally invalidate the concept of diseases. The First Biological Law: A Redefinition of Disease. In his first law, Hamer redefines diseases as Significant Biological Special […]

After 20 years of research and therapy with over 31,000 patients, Dr. Ryke Hamer finally established firmly, logically, and empirically how a physical or emotional event involving a biological-conflict-shock results in what traditional medicine would describe as cancerous activity in the body that leads to a cancer diagnosis within 1 to 2 years after the […]

A German physician named Ryke Hamer, formerly of the Universities of Munich and Tubingen in Germany, has conducted what we believe to be the most significant and pertinent research on the effects of shock on the mindbody. Dr. Hamer describes his paradigm in his groundbreaking book, Summary of the New Medicine (2000), which is unfortunately […]

In our book, Conflict Resolution: The Partnership Way, (2009), we suggest a process and steps to use in forgiving others. What Forgiveness Is Not Below is a description of what forgiveness is not. Because of all the misconceptions about forgiveness, it is necessary first to clarify what it is not. Here are some ideas to […]

While betrayals happen to everyone, not everyone learns from them. Some people seem to endure many betrayals before any learning occurs. The point where you no longer need to repeat negative experiences is known as grace. The next time you encounter a betrayal, ask: “What lesson do I need to learn here How can this […]

Our four-stage model of optimal parenting and development gives children a solid social and emotional foundation. It also identifies critical processes that must be completed during developmental windows of opportunity in first three years of life. When these processes are completed in a timely and appropriate manner in a family structured around the Divine Triangle, […]

On a human level, experiencing LOVEvolution happens through a process known as individuation. Becoming spiritually individuated means to move from being unconsciously united with God, to becoming separated from God and developing individual consciousness or awareness, and then rejoining again with God as a conscious, aware, separate Being.

For the past 23+ years we have been creating what we call a divine relationship, in which two people commit to walk together on a path that heals the hearts of both and opens each to the experience of the divine. What we have experienced is that walking this path together has activated layers of […]

For the past 23+ years we have been creating what we call a divine relationship, in which two people commit to walk together on a path that heals the hearts of both and opens each to the experience of the divine. What we have experienced is that walking this path together has activated layers of […]

In the throes of a betrayal, it may seem impossible to even think about forgiveness. You may feel as though your heart has been broken and that you can never even be close to your betrayer again. This initial reaction is a normal part of the grief process that accompanies any betrayal experiences. Once the […]

In our recent book, Conflict Resolution: The Partnership Way, ( 2009, pp. 161-172), we discuss one of the most universal human experiences: betrayal trauma. Betrayal experiences create a special kind of developmental trauma and stress. They often begin in early childhood when you placed all your trust in your parents and other caregiving adults, anticipating […]

Make a list of the significant betrayals in your life. You can make the list chronological, starting with the earliest one you can remember, or you can arrange your list from the most significant down to the least significant. You only need a few words to describe each event: “The time when _____ happened.”  After […]

In our recent book, Conflict Resolution: The Partnership Way, (2009), we suggest a process and steps to use in forgiving others. What Forgiveness Is Not Below is a description of what forgiveness is not. Because of all the misconceptions about forgiveness, it is necessary first to clarify what it is not. Here are some ideas […]

The Father’s Role in the Birthing Process Klaus and Kennell (1976) found that it was very important for the father to be present for the birth and be an active participant in it. In follow-up studies, they found fathers who were present at the birth were less likely to abuse that child. Once the child […]

The essential developmental processes of the counter-dependent stage of development involve achieving full separation armed with the secure bonding of the previous stage. The goal at the end of this stage is to achieve individuation and the psychological birth of the individual.  In order to achieve individuation, or the psychological birth, a child needs good bonding […]

Between birth to three years of age, children complete a series of essential developmental processes. The two most important, however, involve secure bonding between mother and child and the childâ

Between birth to three years of age, children complete a series of essential developmental processes. The two most important, however, involve secure bonding between mother and child and the child’s psychological separation from its parents. If the bonding process is completed successfully in the first year, children feel safe enough to explore the world around […]

The co-dependent stage of development begins (for us) at conception and ends around 6 to 8 months. During this time, the child is completing the developmental process of bonding–first with the mother and father, then with siblings and other close family members. This critical stage creates the foundation for several things. The first is the […]

Emotional attunement and bonding at birth include several important relational interactions, such as eye contact between the mother and child. Until recently, adults assumed that newborn infants couldn’t see. In fact, infants are myopic, or nearsighted, and able to see optimally at a distance of about 12 inches. Interestingly, this is the distance from the […]

In addition to preventing developmental trauma, the nature of the birthing process has profound effects on a child’s development. The research of Klaus and Kennell (1976), who popularized the word “bonding,” created the first scenario for optimal birthing conditions. According to their findings, the nude newborn should be placed on the mother’s chest near her […]

The Six Steps in Self-Forgiveness Step 1: Take responsibility for what you did. Taking responsibility means admitting you contributed to the betrayal rather than blaming it all on someone. Borysenko (1996) quotes a spiritual teacher named Emmanuel on this, saying: “If you deny what is your nature, you become deeply attached to that denial. When […]

As a child you needed to be seen for whom you really were, to be understood, to express your feelings and needs, to be taken seriously, and to have your feelings and needs respected by your mother and father. These are normal narcissistic needs. If they were filled adequately during the co-dependent and counter-dependent stages, […]

In order to experience individuation, or the psychological birth, children need good bonding experiences with their parents and other adult caregivers during the first six to nine months of life. Margaret Mahler, a researcher and child psychologist, did extensive observational research with mothers and their babies to better understand this developmental stage.[1]  Mahler described maternal-infant bonding […]

Below is a chart showing the normal function of each of your core feelings (Weinhold & Weinhold, 2009, p. 76-77). The chart also suggests how you can use these feelings in your life. Your Basic Feelings and Their Healthy Functions Feeling Function 1. Anger This is a natural response to not getting your wants or

Addictions are ways to avoid experiencing deep unresolved feelings and issues associated with not experiencing consistent unconditional love and nurturing during the co-dependent and counter-dependent stages of development; and unskilled attempts to meet these bonding and separation needs as adults. Addictions are also an indicator of unhealed developmental trauma. Addictions & Trauma During the Bonding Stage of Development […]

Defining an addiction as a disease is an ethical issue that we want to address. The first thing to know is that there are three categories of diseases. The first group consists of disorders known by their physical symptoms  and caused by a microbe or virus. These include polio, malaria, influenza, AIDS, tuberculosis, and so […]

It is big business today in America to label any compulsive behaviors related to food, drink, sex, relationships, or activities such as gambling, smoking, working, or shopping as a disease. The expensive residential treatment programs that stand to benefit most from the disease model have been successful in getting almost all addictions or compulsive behaviors […]

Scientific information on adrenaline and developmental stress shows that there is an interplay between stress hormones and the nervous system that activates stress-related conditions such as depression, Cushing’s syndrome, anorexia nervosa, and chronic fatigue syndrome. Adrenaline and developmental stress go hand-in-hand in the study of MindBody sciences. MindBody Sciences Our books, The Flight From Intimacy […]

Do you have trouble relaxing or sleeping Do you try to do many things at once Do you get easily bored if your are not doing something exciting Do you tend to work long hours and still never get done with everything you want to do Are you good at starting relationships, but have trouble […]

Barry K. Weinhold. (2000). $5.00 – 60p. Raising Kind Kids is available in downloadable ebook format. This guide provides 25 field-tested activities for parents who want to promote kindness and respect in their family. Activities are for all ages. This book can easily shift your family experience from a negative one to a positive one. […]

Breaking Free of the Co-dependency Trap identifies co-dependency as the result of developmental traumas that interfered with the infant-parent bonding relationship during the first year of life. This book radically challenges the prevailing medical definition of co-dependency as a permanent, progressive, and incurable addiction. This bestselling book, now in a revised edition, describes not only […]

by Janae B. Weinhold & Barry K. Weinhold. (2008, New World Library). $14.95 – 245 p. This book, which describes the flip side of co-dependency, shows how trauma during the separation stage of development causes recurring conflicts and problems with intimacy in adult relationships. This is the only book on the market on this important […]

By Barry K. Weinhold and Janae B. Weinhold What is the Partnership Way of Conflict Resolution The Partnership Way is a form of relationship conflict resolution that helps people embrace conflict rather than avoiding it. We learned to embrace conflict because we found that it deepened the love connection between us in ways that advanced […]

Consciously parenting children begins with understanding that they are born totally aware. Rather than being lumps of unmolded clay as once believed, they are acutely sensitive to the world around them. Their highly tuned sensory systems respond energetically to everything they encounter, including experiences involving unconditional love and conflict.

We believe that developmental shock, trauma or stress from unrecognized and unhealed childhood events energetically imprints the mind-body in ways that cause the growth of cancer or other degenerative diseases. This understanding matches those of Dr. W. Douglas Brodie (photo prior to his death on right), Dr. Ryke Hamer and other innovative researchers. The key […]

Developmental trauma by our definition, is caused by breaks in the sensory bond that connects children with their caregivers. This sensory bond happens through skin-to-skin, eye-to-eye, ear-to-ear and right-brain-to-right-brain contact that creates a resonant field of interconnected energy. Allen Schore’s introduction of language from quantum sciences into the study of infant and children’s mental health […]

Developmental Trauma can be prevented by providing infants and young children with comforting and nurturing support when they become emotionally upset. Comforting should include softly-spoken and reassuring words, eye-to-eye contact and holding and/or rocking. Appropriate comforting also involves meeting children’s needs as quickly as possible, which helps children quickly regulate their emotions and restores the […]

Many of the clients we worked with in our private practice had sub-clinical symptoms trauma but not enough to make a diagnosis of PTSD. These clients also were struggling in sustaining intimate relationships and with the kinds of behavioral patterns typically associated with trauma. When we reviewed their intake histories, however, we found that very […]

Below are a few samples of videos that opened my heart and made me cry. We all can use more ways to keep our hearts open in these hard times. We will be adding more of these videos as we find them or if you send them to us. Here’s a great You’Tube Video of […]

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think: —— “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather […]

Janae B. Weinhold, Ph.D. When children show signs of emotional upset, they really need the help of caring adults to calm and quiet themselves. Common symptoms of emotional upset in young children include hitting, crying, throwing, withdrawing, bullying and oppositional behaviors. The most important thing to remember in these situations is that emotionally upset children […]

Barry K. Weinhold & Janae B. Weinhold. (2013). $2.99, 101 pages. Feeling victimized Ready to be done with the trauma, drama and karma that keep you trapped in 3D soap operas? How To Break Free of Victim Consciousness & The Drama Triangle will help you get off the Drama Triangle, heal old trauma, and dismantle […]

This 23 minute interview focuses on Barry and Janae’s newly released and revised edition of Conflict Resolution: The Partnership Way. This interview by Lara Honos-Webb is about our new book, Conflict Resolution: The partnership Way. We discuss the causes of relationship conflict and our comprehensive approach to conflict resolution. Lara is an excellent interviewer (she […]

In this 50 minute interview with Barry and Janae, they talk about their book, Conflict Resolution: The Partnership Way. They also talk about how unseen and unhealed developmental traumas that each party brings to the relationship is the hidden cause of conflict in relationships. Adam Lehman is an bioenergetic bodyworker and former engineer-producter who also […]

  As seekers whose paths converged in a mystery school, professions in psychology and healers of our childhood wounds, weve long been aware of our own yearnings to experience something mystical, larger than ourselves. Accompanied by a constant, imperceptible feeling that we came from ‘somewhere else, our interactions with friends, clients, students and colleagues indicate […]

Dr. Rita Louise, PhD, ND is the founder of the Institute of Applied Energetics and the host of Just Energy Radio. A Naturopathic Physician and a 20-year veteran in the Human Potential Field, it is her unique gift as a medical intuitive and clairvoyant that illuminates and enlivens her work. Author of the books Avoiding […]

Directions: This inventory is for your benefit, so be as honest as you can in filling it out. We recommend you print this out to make the scoring easier. Place a number in the blank that precedes each statement to indicate how true that statement is for you. (1= Almost Never, 2= Occasionally, 3= Frequently, […]

Barry K. Weinhold, Ph.D. Barack Obama said he wanted to change the way politics is practiced in this country. Many see him as a dreamer or a clever orator, but not someone experienced enough to change the political landscape of Presidential politics without first bulldozing the White House lawn. I believe what Obama is seeking […]

Barry K. Weinhold Individuals who in the first year of life suffered relational traumas that wounded their soul, did not experience a securely bonding relationships with their mother. As a result, these people grow up not knowing how to create a securely bonded relationship with another adult. In addition, individuals who in their second and […]

Download Alissa Kriteman: Just For Women – Dating & Relationships

Healing Your Relationship of Co-Dependency and Counter-Dependency Terri L. Orbuch, PhD, better known as The Love Doctor, is an author, psychologist, workshop leader, Oakland University sociology professor, nationally recognized research scientist at The University of Michigan, and a popular radio and television personality who specializes in relationships of all kinds. Listen to Terri’s interview of […]

Directions: In the blank in front of each of the statements below mark T if you believe it is a true statement and F if you think it is a false statement. ___1. We descended from apes. ___2. We live in the land of the free. ___3. Our three-dimensional reality is the only reality that […]

Self-Care: A Key to Good Mental Health Self-care means honoring and respecting the miraculous woman that you are. Self-care means learning to listen with the ear of a dedicated mother to your own physical, emotional, spiritual, and relationship needs, and then taking full responsibility for getting them met.

1987 was a momentous year that marked the beginning of humanity’s ascension, rebirth and shift into the Fourth Dimension. 1987’s Harmonic Convergence also marked the beginning of our sun’s direct alignment with the center of our Milky Way Galaxy. This very rare cosmic event has been exposing our whole solar system to intense rounds of […]

Scientists who are studying evolution from a celestial perspective believe that there are four kinds of celestial events and cosmic forces that might be triggering The Shift: Galactic Cycles, Solar Cycles, Solar Events and Supernovas. There is a tremendous amount of evidence in these four areas indicating that we are deep into the Great Shifting […]

The study of our solar system by individuals such as David Wilcock has become a really large field of scientific inquiry. Science has recently discovered significant changes happening to all of the planets in our solar system. SUN: The Sun’s magnetic field is more than 230 percent stronger than it was at the beginning of […]

There are many places in this country that have brilliant scientists conducting secret research. Some of the most prominent are: Area 51 near Reno, Nevada Wright-Patterson AF Base in Ohio Nellis AFB near Las Vegas Los Alamos National Laboratory Los Alamos, New Mexico Kirtland AFB in Albuquerque

My research about 2012 and The Shift indicates that the fields of science and spirituality are merging. Some of the greatest spiritual advances seem to be coming from people who once were hard-core scientists. Many of them are validating the prophesies spiritual traditions of indigenous people and simultaneously invalidating outdated scientific paradigms such as Darwin’s […]

I think that we will continue to experience time speeding up. Let’s imagine our galaxy as a vortex that both sends and receives energy and moves time and lie down an ever-narrowing spiral towards an Omega Point. We would experience time is speeding up and find ourselves playing out our karmic patterns in shorter and […]

Russell Boulding www.preparingforthegreatshift.org Russell Boulding, from Bloomington, IN, is a scientist, energy healer, spiritual seeker, lover of humanity and planet Earth and cosmic explorer. His work focuses how the coming dimensional shift in human consciousness will lead us to health and wholeness as individuals, create global peace, and sustain an ecologically healthy planet. He has […]

LOVEvolution plays a major role in the personal growth and wellness, because many of us grew up in families where we experienced little or no unconditional love. What we mostly experienced was conditional love that rewarded us for conforming or giving up our needs and punished us when we were unwilling to accommodate. As a […]

Janae B. Weinhold & Barry K. Weinhold Beliefs form as the result of intense or traumatic emotional experiences during childhood. You cannot think away or eliminate trauma with your conscious mind. Trauma is wired into the central nervous system and operates through the autonomic nervous system and the reptilian brain, which is why it is […]

Barry K. Weinhold In the clever little ditty about “me and my Shadow,” the singer/dancer is in relationship to his Shadow as they stroll together down the avenue. However, if you operate out of a False Self, you cannot be in relationship with your Shadow. You may not even realize that you have a Shadow […]

Janae B. Weinhold & Barry K. Weinhold Your Shadow consists of all those aspects of yourself that you want to keep hidden from others and from yourself. These are usually the aspects of your self that not accepted in the matrix and reinforced by your parents or teachers or society as wrong, deviant, bad, unruly […]

Janae B. Weinhold & Barry K. Weinhold The Shadow, which you may regard with fear and disdain, turns out to be none other than your own Divine Inner Child. The awful closet full of monsters or the bag that you have been dragging along all these years contains important elements of your True Self that […]

Janae B. Weinhold & Barry K. Weinhold Once you understand the process of projections and where they come from, you begin to recognize when you are projecting a part of yourself onto others. Here’s how to identify when you are projecting on others: 1) When you over-react to an incident, particularly when you see the […]

Barry K. Weinhold and Janae B. Weinhold This is the title of our latest book. It contains all the strategies we have learned to help people learn how to break free of victim consciousness and the drama triangle. Here is the structure we use to break free of victim consciousness 1). Locate the core beliefs […]

Janae B. Weinhold It is clear that the social and emotional needs of young children have become increasingly buried under the economic challenges, work commitments and lifestyle demands of adults. Parents, grandparents, teachers and corporate policymakers really do not understand the impact of unmet emotional needs during the first three years of life and how […]

Janae B. Weinhold People who work with children, particularly those of preschool age, are the first point of interventions that should involve both education and early identification of children with problems. This group includes parents, grandparents, child care providers, preschool and kindergarten teachers, public and private school officials, obstetricians and pediatricians. These early caregivers need […]

Janae B. Weinhold, Ph.D. Securely bonded children act self-confident, have strong self-esteem and function at high levels socially, emotionally, mentally and physically. They are able to engage in reciprocal relationships, able to both give and receive love. They are compassionate, express concern about the feelings and needs of others, have well-developed creativity and cooperate with […]

Janae B. Weinhold In the last fifteen years, there has been a rush to diagnose aggressive, impulsive and hyperactive children with psychological disorders such as ADD and ADHD. Parents and other adult caregivers, desperate for some relief from the disturbing behavior of children, have become comfortable with administering Ritalin and other powerful central nervous system […]

Healing Developmental Tauma. Janae Weinhold & Barry Weinhold, 2010 The Flight From Intimacy. Janae Weinhold & Barry Weinhold, 2008 Birth Without Violence. Frederick Leboyer, 1975 Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting. Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn Ghosts from the Nursery: Tracing the Roots of Violence. Robin Karr-Morse, Meredith Wiley, T. Berry Brazelton, 1998 Becoming […]

Janae B. Weinhold Time-in techniques support children’s social and emotional needs when they become upset or are misbehaving. Children really need support from caring adults in order to become calm and quiet. Children who are hitting, crying, withdrawing, bullying, and being oppositional or defiant are really crying out for help from adults.

Janae B. Weinhold Teachings from the ageless wisdom traditions prophesied more than a hundred years that a new race of humans would soon embody on the planet. Their arrival is being heralded by the authors of several books (see below) who have discovered the presence of these incredible children around the world.

There are three important principles in LOVEvolution that parallel the process of cell mitosis, the process by which a fertilized egg changes into a fully developed human. The first is dividing, which describes how life grows and exponentially multiplies itself. One divides into two, two divides into four, four into eight, and so on. The […]

Janae B. Weinhold & Barry K. Weinhold On a human level, the process of LOVEvolution is known as individuation. Becoming spiritually individuated means to move from being unconsciously united with God, to becoming separated from God and developing individual consciousness or awareness, and then rejoining again with God as conscious, aware, separate Beings. Becoming psychologically […]

Janae B. Weinhold & Barry K. Weinhold Understanding the principles of LOVEvolution helps you navigate through this period of our history characterized by breakdown-breaktrough experiences. We see it as part of a larger LOVEolutionary process of the Shifting of the Ages or Yugas. According to many experts, we are nearing the end of a 26,000 […]

Counter-dependency is the main topic of an interview of Barry and Janae Weinhold by Patricia Raskin, president and founder of Raskin Resources. She is an award winning media producer/host, media coach, speaker and author who interviews nationally acclaimed experts and authors in the areas of self-help, personal growth and inspiration. As a pioneer in the […]

Our Flight From Intimacy book about counter-dependency is the main topic of an interview on Strategies for Living, a daily radio/podcast program, hosted by Family Therapist David McMillian. His show is dedicated to helping listeners improve their quality of living in body, mind and spirit. Daily, Strategies presents topical issues featuring interviews with some of […]

Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Walnut Creek, CA. She is author of The Gift of ADHD and Listening to Depression (New Harbinger, 2006), and more than twenty-five scholarly articles. Lara is an excellent interviewer (she actually read the book before the interview!) and really helped us speak to […]

Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Walnut Creek, CA. She is author of The Gift of ADHD and Listening to Depression (New Harbinger, 2006), and more than twenty-five scholarly articles. Lara is an excellent interviewer (she actually read the book before the interview!) and really helped us speak to […]

Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses." – Confucius Kind acts can transform your body, mind, spirit and your experience of life! Science proves it (read The Science of Kindness). But dont take our word for it. Conduct your own experiment and try it for yourself for a day or two or even a week. Make performing […]

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday He must really be […]