What Is The Real Men Book Series?
The Real Men book series consists of four eBooks and Print On Demand paperback books designed to help men develop their feminine side. Men are largely unaware of their feminine side that has been denigrated by many in our modern world. Real Men is a series of books that addresses what men need to do to become fully mature and effective.
Advertising on television tries to define “real men” as those who drive expensive cars, select the right razor, or use the best after shave lotion. I am defining “real men” as those who have developed and integrated both the masculine side and their feminine side of their personality. For men in our culture, developing their feminine side is like eating dog food. It is distasteful and forbidden. What men do with their feminine side when this happens is project it onto the women in their lives and let them carry it. This leaves men operating as one-half a person.
I am writing a series of four books about the feminine side of men that they have ignored. Since men make most of the money and hold most of the power positions in our modern world, it is important to see the damage that men have incurred as a result of operating as only half a person. I know many men, if they really let themselves feel it, have lots of guilt and shame about the mistakes they have made that may have hurt others.
That is what I intend to do in these books, is to show men what they can gain by developing and integrating their feminine side. I know what I have gained by doing this work and I believe other men will also. We desperately need both men and women who have fully developed their masculine and feminine sides. Actually, what we see most often are examples of men and women acting out of the immature versions of both their masculine and feminine characteristics. The effects of the limited capabilities of men and women are often tragic. The four books in this series are tentatively titled as follows:
The Male Mother: The Missing Skill Set For Fathers
The Male Mother archetype represents a life giver who nurtures humanity while the Warrior archetype clears the space for renewal and change. The Male Mother, in contrast to the Warrior, uses peaceful negotiations to resolve conflicts with others.
The Male Mother forgives his enemies and does not judge his adversaries. The Male Mother’s prototype is the nurturing mother, but he performs this role in a distinctly different way. There are shadows here as well: the rejecting or devouring male mother, or the martyr.
The Servant Leader: What the World Needs Now
The Servant Leader is the humble servant of the people and the most important person responsible for the safety and wellbeing of society. History and art have shown that every society must have a wise and humble leader who is entrusted with guiding his people to success and safety.
The Servant Leader’s responsibilities are many, but so are the benefits and virtues. And if the Servant Leader fails in his duties, traditionally he is ousted from office. His immature or shadow sides are arrogance and ego fulfillment.
The Wise Elder: The Missing Skill Set For Male Elders
He represents Logos, which, according to Jung, also is a feminine principle. He is the archetype behind a multitude of professions like doctors, lawyers, teachers and clergy. He mentors younger men using the wisdom he has gained through his experiences. By using his intuition he is able to see the unseen.
He is the mediator and communicator of secret knowledge, the healer, counselor, teacher, and spiritual guide. The Wise Elder always has the possibility of abusing his power by denying his shadow aspects. He becomes instead the frightening negative force, the witch or warlock.
The Open-Hearted Lover: The Missing Skill Set For Male Lovers
This archetype, embodying the feminine principle Eros, manifests in the energy and fertility of nature. By combining Eros and Logos, the resulting creative energy is the consequence of the synergy of Jung’s anima/animus union. Male lovers are at ease with their own deepest feelings and their most central values and visions.
Only through supporting the union of our feminine and the masculine sides can our culture prosper and grow. The Open-Hearted Lover embraces the “we,” not the “me” in relationships and society. The shadow of the Lover is impotent, sterile and without compassion. He also can destroy spiritual connections between people with just one cynical remark.
The Male Mother Book
One of the first challenges many men face is being able to be an effective father for their children. I have yet to meet a father who feels like he was well equipped for the job. Showing up is a big part of the job. Most father don’t really show up for their children and carry guilt and shame about it. Unless they clear that guilt or shame they run the risk of their children having a relationship with their guilt and not with them.
This book presents a more complete picture of a mature adult father in our culture. It is rare that fathers get this kind of information. Many men do not even know what a mature father looks like, because our culture paints men as macho, dominant, non-feeling critters. It also supports men who run away from, and denigrate the feminine aspects of their personality, such as being in touch with their feelings and seeking committed, equal relationships.
However, my research suggests there is a rapidly emerging trend among younger men in our culture that supports men who are interested in developing and integrating their feminine side. I am excited to be able to present a roadmap of the emerging feminine side of your development for you to follow.
Many men silently carry quilt and shame about what they did or did not do raising their children. This book shows fathers how to overcome their perceived failings as a father and shows them the skiils they need to correct any earlier mistakes they may have made as a father. Fathers need the learn some of the following Male Mother skills:
- Display genuine empathy toward their children when they are experiencing deep emotions.
- Speak and act in ways that nurture their children.
- Show compassion toward their children even when they oppose their father’s ideas or requests.
- Look their children in the eyes and connect with them as separate human beings.
- Forgive their children’s failings without judgment.
- Give them emotional support, mirroring and unconditional love.
- Negotiate to get their needs met without diminishing the needs of their children.
- Create a lifestyle that models life-giving values, beliefs and behaviors toward humans, plants, animals and all creatures that are vulnerable and dependent.
- Access to the “wisdom of the heart” or intuition to guide his decisions.
The Four Initiations a Father Must Facilitate For His Children
I am proposing is that if you as a father were equipped with the male mother skills presented in this book, you could facilitate four important “initiations” for your children to give them the secure foundation they need to become responsible, mature adults.
The four initiations are
- Cutting the Cord: Creating the Divine Family Triangle
- Facilitating the Completion of the Psychological Birth of Your Children.
- Helping Your Children Achieve Mastery of Everyday Tasks.
- Helping Your Children Learn Negotiation Skills to Get Their Needs Met and How to Cooperate with Others.
This book shows you the essential skills and understandings you need to be effective as a father to your children. Even if your children are older, it is never too late to provide this support for them. Once you know what to do, you can find ways to fill in the developmental gaps in your children. One thing is for sure; they always will be your children no matter how old they are. It is never too late to relate to your children or grandchildren as a Male Mother.
The Male Mother book is also available as a Print On Demand (POD) paperback book through Amazon/ClearSpace. All of the other books in this series will be available as e-Books and as POD book.