Consciously parenting children begins with understanding that they are born totally aware. Rather than being lumps of unmolded clay as once believed, they are acutely sensitive to the world around them. Their highly tuned sensory systems respond energetically to everything they encounter, including experiences involving unconditional love and conflict. Children instinctively open to receive love energy, and close when they encounter conflict or other disharmonies. This is even true during their prenatal development, as pre- and perinatal psychologists Thomas Verny and David Chamberlain discovered. Newborns are completely sentientable to feel emotions, to perceive reality, and completely conscious and able to remember experiences. They arrive with the capacity for experiencing their own wholeness and soak up all to which they are exposed. The challenge as a conscious parent is regarding children as “unfolding flowers” with innate potential, and avoiding impulses to unduly shape the process of their blooming. It is particularly challenging not to pass on distorted intergenerational beliefs and dysfunctional behavior patterns.
Breaking Free of Family Patterns and Distorted Beliefs
We believe the most effective way to consciously parent children is by continually asking ourselves why we are doing a certain thing. At the same time, we must assume and accept that many of our parenting motives and behaviors contain both distorted intergenerational beliefs and dysfunctional behavior patterns. Consciously parenting children sounds rather simple. We know very well that it is not. It has taken us many years of self-reflection and personal work on ourselves to become self-conscious. If you want to parent your children more consciously, a good place to begin is by reading Barry’s Breaking Family Patterns books. They contain numerous self-inventories and assessments about family-of-origin issues. These tools will help you determine how conscious are about how you were parented, and show you where to work on yourself.