The Authentic Family: Self-AssessmentUse this quiz to assess your current progress in the four stages of moving toward being an authentic family:CodependentCounterdependentIndependentInterdependentProvide your perception of how often or how well your family does each of the following items on a scale of 1 to 5. 1 = Almost Never and 5 = Almost Always1. Acknowledge each family member’s spiritual essence. 1 2 3 4 5 2. Accept and validate each person's feelings and needs. 1 2 3 4 5 3. Have appropriate mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy. 1 2 3 4 5 4. Engage in loving touch and find ways to show our appreciation for each other. 1 2 3 4 5 5. Express mutual trust and unconditional love. 1 2 3 4 5 6. Share common values, beliefs, and interests. 1 2 3 4 5 7. Create common interests and activities that include all family members. 1 2 3 4 5 8. Separate nurturing touch from sexual touch when extending it to family members. 1 2 3 4 5 9. Show respect and tolerance for any differences of values and beliefs. 1 2 3 4 5 10. Support each person's need to separately explore new ideas and activities. 1 2 3 4 5 11. Show respect for each other's psychological boundaries. 1 2 3 4 5 12. Ask and negotiate directly to meet our wants and needs. 1 2 3 4 5 13. Identify the underlying sources of our current unresolved conflicts. 1 2 3 4 5 14. Resolve conflicts between parents and children where everyone’s needs are respected. 1 2 3 4 5 15. Develop ways to fulfill our individual needs that do not involve others in the family. 1 2 3 4 5 16. Do things that break down cultural gender-role stereotypes regarding career and housekeeping activities. 1 2 3 4 5 17. Are able to tolerate ambiguity and role diffusion in family relationships. 1 2 3 4 5 18. Are able to tolerate ambiguity and role diffusion in family relationships. 1 2 3 4 5 19. Encourage the development of individual self-identity. 1 2 3 4 5 20. Support each person's independent ideas and actions. 1 2 3 4 5 21. Achieve a balance between the needs of parents and children. 1 2 3 4 5 22. Use partnership methods to resolve our conflicts. 1 2 3 4 5 23. Shift from being close to being separate without conflict. 1 2 3 4 5 24. Keep our relationship agreements among family members. 1 2 3 4 5 25. Help each other resolve unresolved conflicts from the past. 1 2 3 4 5 26. Make the relationship or family a priority over our careers. 1 2 3 4 5 27. Design and use regular spiritual practices with each other. 1 2 3 4 5 28. Manage family affairs through family meetings. 1 2 3 4 5
