The Authentic Couple: Self AssessmentUse this quiz to assess your current progress in the four stages of moving toward being an authentic couple:CodependentCounterdependentIndependentInterdependentProvide your perception of how often or how well your couple relationship does each of the following items on a scale of 1 to 5. 1 = Almost Never and 5 = Almost AlwaysYou and your partner may want to do this separately and then compare your answers. You may also use assessment with other intimate relationships.1. Acknowledge each family member’s spiritual essence. 1 2 3 4 5 2. Accept and validate each person's feelings and needs. 1 2 3 4 5 3. Have appropriate mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy. 1 2 3 4 5 4. Engage in loving touch and find ways to show our appreciation for each other. 1 2 3 4 5 5. Express mutual trust and unconditional love. 1 2 3 4 5 6. Share common values, beliefs, and interests. 1 2 3 4 5 7. Create common interests and activities that include all family members. 1 2 3 4 5 8. Separate nurturing touch from sexual touch when extending it to family members. 1 2 3 4 5 9. Show respect and tolerance for any differences of values and beliefs. 1 2 3 4 5 10. Support each person's need to separately explore new ideas and activities. 1 2 3 4 5 11. Show respect for each other's psychological boundaries. 1 2 3 4 5 12. Ask and negotiate directly to meet our wants and needs. 1 2 3 4 5 13. Identify the underlying sources of our current unresolved conflicts. 1 2 3 4 5 14. Resolve conflicts between parents and children where everyone’s needs are respected. 1 2 3 4 5 15. Develop ways to fulfill our individual needs that do not involve others in the family. 1 2 3 4 5 16. Do things that break down cultural gender-role stereotypes regarding career and housekeeping activities. 1 2 3 4 5 17. Are able to tolerate ambiguity and role diffusion in family relationships. 1 2 3 4 5 18. Are able to tolerate ambiguity and role diffusion in family relationships. 1 2 3 4 5 19. Encourage the development of individual self-identity. 1 2 3 4 5 20. Support each person's independent ideas and actions. 1 2 3 4 5 21. Achieve a balance between the needs of parents and children. 1 2 3 4 5 22. Use partnership methods to resolve our conflicts. 1 2 3 4 5 23. Shift from being close to being separate without conflict. 1 2 3 4 5 24. Keep our relationship agreements among family members. 1 2 3 4 5 25. Help each other resolve unresolved conflicts from the past. 1 2 3 4 5 26. Make the relationship or family a priority over our careers. 1 2 3 4 5 27. Design and use regular spiritual practices with each other. 1 2 3 4 5 28. Manage family affairs through family meetings. 1 2 3 4 5
