The Flight From Intimacy describes counter-dependent behaviors as being caused by unhealed trauma during the toddler stage of development. People flee intimacy as a way of protecting themselves from the effects of their unidentified and unprocessed developmental trauma in early childhood. This book contains exercises to help you identify your counter-dependent behaviors, connect them to what happened to you as a child and find ways to heal these traumas. This problem can be easily fixed once you know how it got broken.
Description
Counter-dependency causes a “flight from intimacy” in your adult relationships. It is not a disease. It is a set of protective adult behaviors caused by unseen and unhealed developmental traumas that happened between the ages of nine and 36 months—the toddler or “terrible twos” stage of development. Your can change these behaviors by healing the underlying traumas that are causing them. Healing counter-dependent behaviors as an adult starts with connecting the dots between what happened to you as a child and what is happening in your adult relationships. These behaviors typically involve avoidance of intimacy in your adult relationships by creating rigid boundaries, pushing others away, appearing overly independent, and by acting strong, blaming others and keeping very busy.
The Flight From Intimacy describes counter-dependent behaviors as being caused by unhealed trauma during the toddler stage of development. People flee intimacy as a way of protecting themselves from the effects of their unidentified and unprocessed developmental trauma in early childhood. This book contains exercises to help you identify your counter-dependent behaviors, connect them to what happened to you as a child and find ways to heal these traumas. This problem can be easily fixed once you know how it got broken.
Children with these kinds of relational wounds grow up to be adults who defend against feeling any feelings connected to the early traumas they suffered. Their attitude to any conflicts that arise in their life usually is, “I’m right/good and you’re wrong/bad.” Those with this internal split find it very difficult to trust others, to share their emotions and to be intimate. They push people away in order to protect themselves from experiencing the pain of being judged, shamed, or criticized like they felt when they were a child.
From Publishers Weekly
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