GET REAL: The Hazards of Living Out of Your False Self

Description

Polarized thinking currently is the greatest threat facing this country and in many parts of the world. Humanity is stuck in either-or thinking. Everything is right or wrong, black or white, East or West, liberal or conservative, guns or no guns, etc. You may find yourself “splitting” against people and organizations that hold different views from yours. I believe this is happening because you, like most people, may be living out of your False Self. Your True Self is hidden somewhere inside of you waiting patiently for you to wake up and discover it.

This book examines the hazards of living out of your False Self. You may strive to live out of your Authentic Self, but at the same time you may struggle with having to use your False Self to please others in your life, just to get along. As a result, you may find yourself living out of your False Self more than you want. Even if you are aware of when you do this, you may not know how to change it.

Childhood traumas likely prevented you from completing your “psychological birth” to develop a fully individuated True Self by age three. If this did not happen, you will have to complete this important milestone as an adult or spend the rest of your life living out of a substitute False Self. I estimate that less than 5% percent of adults actually completed that milestone at age three. This book shows you how to move out of overusing your False Self and strengthening your True Self.

Your False Self shows up in two very different ways: the deflated or depressed False Self and the inflated or narcissistic False Self. The hazards you face by living out of your False Self, in either case, include victim behaviors, depression, anxiety, addictions, narcissistic behaviors, toxic shame, projections and poor decisions that likely involve trying to please others rather than being true to yourself.

In addition, I look at the threats of polarized thinking to our current political system and how the overuse of the False Self could actually bring down our country. Finally, I provide you with the best tools I have found to help you identify and remove the hazards of living out of your False Self and reclaim your True Self.

Table of Contents:

• Introduction
• Chapter One: What Is The Difference Between Your False Self and Your True Self?
• Chapter Two: Our Four-Stage Developmental Model That Helps Explain How The False Self Is Created
• Chapter Three: The Role of Attachment Trauma in Creating Your Codependent False Self
• Chapter Four: The Role of Separation Trauma in Creating Your False Self
• Chapter Five: The Daily Hazards of Living Out Of Your False Self
• Chapter Six: Living In A Codependent/Counterdependent Relationship
• Chapter Seven: Growing Up In a Narcissistic Family
• Chapter Eight: Taking Your False Self To Work With You
• Chapter Nine: The Role of the False Self in Politics
• Chapter Ten: The Role of the False Self In Destroying Empires
• Chapter Eleven: How To Reclaim Your True Self

About the Author:

Barry K. Weinhold, PhD, is Professor Emeritus at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs, a licensed psychologist since 1976, and an author or co-author of over 74 books in psychology. He also serves as the Clinical Director of the Colorado Institute For Conflict Resolution & Creative Leadership. He also Co-Directs the Colorado Professional Development Center where he offers Trauma-Informed-Care trainings to health services professionals. Barry is an avid fly fisherman and loves to listen to live music.