By Barry K. Weinhold, Ph.D.
Many people hold twisted beliefs that cause them to suffer from premature hardening of the categories. Below is a list of common twisted beliefs that many smart people hold about themselves, other people and the world around them. These twisted beliefs cause them to suffer from what I call ”premature hardening of the categories.”
This condition is seen in people whose actions are driven by rigid beliefs. They tend to use black/white, either/or thinking when making decisions or choices. They have trouble seeing the “gray” options or the third choice that contains some of each of the other two choices. This causes them to repeat self-defeating behaviors. Instead of looking for the “premature hardening of the categories” of their beliefs they just keep trying harder to do what hasn’t worked previously.
How Twisted Beliefs Produce Self-defeating Actions
These books describe how your twisted beliefs lead to self-defeating actions. The most common strategy people use when their life is not working is to just try harder. It is uncommon for people to look at their beliefs as the reason why things are not working out the way they would like. As a result, they do the same self-defeating things over and over. Perhaps you, like me, have done some of the following:
- Repeatedly picked a relationship or marriage partner where you end up getting abused, and then you either go back to this relationship or you pick someone else who abuses you.
- Repeatedly voted for the same political candidates whose stated agenda clearly does not protect or advance your needs and interests.
- Lived beyond your means, believing there will never be a time you will have to pay for anything.
- Erected barriers in your intimate relationships to keep others from really getting to know you so you would not get hurt.
- Repeated the same self-defeating behaviors over and over in your life without knowing why or how to change them.
- Thought you were smarter than everybody else and you used your intelligence to manipulate and trick others into giving you what you wanted or needed.
- Acted weak and helpless so that others would take care of you.
- Stayed with the same dead-end job that you hated.
- Picked friends who continually took advantage of you in a variety of ways.
If you see any of these self-defeating patterns in your life, you will need to read the Twisted Beliefs books to learn new beliefs that support more successful activities. The first book in this series is available from Amazon/Kindle at $2.99.