Janae B. Weinhold & Barry K. Weinhold
Once you understand the process of projections and where they come from, you begin to recognize when you are projecting a part of yourself onto others. Here’s how to identify when you are projecting on others:
1) When you over-react to an incident, particularly when you see the problem as all about the other person and nothing about you. (The “making a mountain out of a mole hill” phenomenon).
2) When your feelings remind you of some previously painful situation. (You feel “rubber-banded” back to an earlier trauma. For example, when your partner yells at you, you quickly begin to feel and behave as a three-year-old and see your partner as your omnipotent mother or father.)
3) When you find yourself in a conflict where you are totally focused on what the other person said or did. This over-focusing helps you avoid a feeling or looking at your contribution to the conflict.
4) When you find yourself using loaded words like “always” or “never” to describe the situation.
5) When you recognize qualities in others that you cannot see in yourself. These can be both positive and negative qualities.