By Barry K. Weinhold, Ph. D.
The Male Mother book is first of a series of four that are designed to help men develop their feminine side. Men are largely unaware of their feminine side that has been ignored and denigrated by many in our modern world. This series of books The Real Men series because it addresses the need for men to become fully mature and effective adults.
The Real Men series is about helping adult men develop and integrate their often-ignored feminine side. Otherwise, they are unable to meet many of the challenges of modern life, in general, and fatherhood, in particular. In order to meet these challenges, fathers need to acquire new skills in male mothering.
One of the first challenges many adult men face is being able to be an effective father for their children. I have yet to meet a father who feels like he was well equipped for the job.
This book presents a more complete picture of what mature adult fathers looks like. It is rare that fathers get this kind of information.
Many men do not even know what a mature father looks like, because our culture paints men as macho, dominant, non-feeling critters. It also encourages men who have avoided and denigrated feminine aspects of their personality. This means being more in touch with their feelings and seeking committed, equalitarian, adult relationships.
My research clearly suggests there is a rapidly emerging trend among younger men in our culture that supports being interested in developing and integrating their feminine side. This book presents a roadmap of the emerging feminine side of development for men to follow.
Many men silently carry quilt and shame about what they did or did not do raising their children. This book shows fathers how to overcome their perceived failings as a father and describes the skills they need to help correct mistakes they may have made as a father. Fathers need the learn some of the following Male Mother skills:
- Display genuine empathy toward their children when they are experiencing deep emotions.
- Speak and act in ways that nurture their children.
- Show compassion toward their children even when they oppose their father’s ideas or requests.
- Look their children in the eyes and connect with them as separate human beings.
- Forgive their children’s failings without judgment.
- Give them emotional support, mirroring and unconditional love.
- Negotiate to get their needs met without diminishing the needs of their children.
- Create a lifestyle that models life-giving values, beliefs and behaviors toward humans, plants, animals and all creatures that are vulnerable and dependent.
- Access to the “wisdom of the heart” or intuition to guide his decisions.
Father Need To Perform Four Essential Initiations
This book will help you perform four important “initiations” for your children that provide the secure foundation they need to become responsible, mature adults. The four initiations are:
- Cutting the Cord: Creating the Divine Family Triangle
- Facilitating the Completion of the Psychological Birth of Your Children.
- Helping Your Children Achieve Mastery of Everyday Tasks.
- Helping Your Children Learn To Negotiate to Get Their Needs Met and How to Cooperate with Others.
This book describes the essential skills and understandings you need to be effective as a father to your children. Even if your children are older, it is never too late to provide this support for them. Once you know what to do, you can find ways to fill in the developmental gaps in your children. One thing is for sure; they always will be your children no matter how old they are. It is never too late to for you to relate to your children or grandchildren as a Male Mother.