Individual & Couple Retreats


Our “LOVE-atory tested” personal growth retreat model will help you quickly and significantly transform yourself and/or your relationships, particularly if you are struggling with intractable conflicts.

Our intensive, non-diseasing personal growth retreats have helped hundreds of people, who say that they have transformed themselves and their lives. And because we believe in your personal powers of self-healing, our approach in individual and couple retreats is designed to strengthen your ability to direct your own personal and relational growth.

We hold our individual and couple personal growth retreats at our Institute in the mountains near Asheville, North Carolina. Nestled in the foothills between the Blue Ridge and Smoky Mountains, Asheville sits in the midst of some of the most beautiful and expansive scenery in the world. The mild climate and calming mountain vistas provide you with “Natural” support for self-healing. If you are from out of town, we supply you with information on accommodations near our Institute.

Our individual and couple personal growth retreat model uses the many self-healing tools we’ve developed and tested in our own relationship. We know quite personally about the challenges of breaking free of dysfunctional family patterns and sustaining intimacy in long-term relationships. So we humbly support and heartfully honor those who are willing to walk this rewarding path. What we are offering you at these retreats comes from what we’ve learned in our 28 year LOVE-atory, and our years of work with other individuals and couples in our counseling practice.

You Are Not Stupid or Crazy–Just Traumatized

In our individual and couple personal growth retreats, we help you identify and change dysfunctional family patterns and heal Developmental Trauma from your early childhood, particularly those you might be re-enacting in your present-time conflicts. This aspect of our retreats is really important, as it helps you understand why you feel and act the way you do. Once you connect the dots between addictive or self-destructive adult behaviors and dysfunctional family-of-origin patterns and unhealed childhood trauma, it is possible to change yourself and your life. We believe that people do what they do for a REASON—they are not stupid or crazy, they are just TRAUMATIZED!

We use a variety of experiential self-help tools to help you identify your family patterns and locate the sources of Developmental Trauma. Then we teach you how to use our self-healing tools to clear trauma-based behavior patterns so that you can take charge of your healing process. We also use our Developmental Process Work to help you modify the relational template you built during childhood.

Barry & Janae WeinholdIn our couple retreats, we use an experiential diagnostic process that quickly shows how your individual family patterns of Developmental Trauma interlock with each other. There is typically a symmetry between these patterns that shows why partners are “right” for each other. Once we help you identify this symmetry, we teach you specific tools for transforming your relationship at the deepest levels.

All retreat clients are expected to read our books: Breaking Family Patterns, Breaking Free of the Co-dependency Trapand The Flight From Intimacy. Free phone consultation: If you are interested in talking personally with the Weinholds regarding a therapy intensive, they offer a free 20 minute consultation. Email to schedule a consultation appointment.

Intensive options:

  • Individual intensive: one person works both Barry and Janae
  • Couple intensive: two people work with both of the Weinholds

Typical individual/couple intensive activities:

  • Intake of extensive family-of-origin history
  • Completion of diagnostic inventories
  • Identification of core patterns of Developmental Trauma from family-of-origin experiences
  • Identification of each persons style of conflict resolution
  • Trauma work using Developmental Process Work
  • “Completion work with parents” experiential process
  • Restructuring relationship agreements
  • Expressive feeling work
  • Creating “change plan” for integrating intensive experience in everyday life

Additional couple intensive activities:

  • Experiential “sculpting” exercise to identify the sources of conflicts
  • Identification of past traumas causing intractable present-time conflicts
  • Identification of the interlocking aspects of each person’s unresolved family-of-origin traumas
  • Learning tools that help each person heal their own traumas and tools for helping heal each others traumas
  • Creating a contract outlining each person’s goals and activities for transforming the relationship

A typical daily intensive schedule providing 6 to 8 hours of therapy:

Morning session: 3-4 hours Lunch break 2 hours Afternoon session: 3-4 hours

At the beginning of each intensive, Barry and Janae discuss the schedule intensive with their client(s) and cooperatively plan both the activities and the meeting times to meet their client(s) needs. Couples may take longer lunch breaks to discuss and work independently on activities and then return to meet with Janae and Barry in the late afternoon and evening. The Weinholds do not schedule other activities during their intensives, so that they can focus exclusively on their client(s) needs.

Intensive fee structure:

Janae and Barry charge $1,000 per day for individual therapy intensive services and $2,000 per day for couple intensives. A $500 online booking fee reserves your intensive date on their calendar.

The balance of your fee is due at the end of the intensive period.

Barry and Janae provide one hour of free phone follow-up following the intensive for each day of the intensive. For example, a three-day couple intensive with them include three hours of follow-up support and a two day individual intensive with Janae would include two hours of free phone consultation with Janae. Client(s) pay only the phone charges for these sessions.

Private Consultations Barry and Janae each offer hour long consultation services to individuals and couples, particularly those who have read their books. If you would like to schedule a private consultation with them, please contact them by email at:

The cost of a Private Consultation is $100.00 USD per hour.

============== Testimonials from Clients

Our time with the Weinholds far surpassed our expectations. Through their open and giving approach, we were able to achieve a level of wholeness and understanding that has provided a life-long foundation for future growth. We came away with tools which we can apply as we continue our growth process and with new insight into how to deal with those triggering moments which have caused us so much pain in the past. Barry and Janae have the rare ability to translate theory into practice and concepts into reality. Their life experience well equips them to meet anyone and everyone at their level of need. We could not have had better guides on our journey toward wholeness.

-Sheila & Gene, Dayton, Ohio

The work I did with Barry has been amazing. I have done a lot of “self-work” in my life and for a long time and working with Barry was like nothing I have ever done before. The work I have done in the past only scratched the surface, where working with Barry cracked me open to a whole different place allowing me to see the truth about who I am. Cracking me open has allowed me to truly deal and see my issues as they are and not what I think they are. I want to thank Barry and his work for keeping me on the path of truth.

– John M., Colorado

I found the Weinhold’s methods to be rejuvenating and very effective. Their approaches quickly get you to the point where healing can begin. Barry & Janae are genuine care givers who are truly admirable. My work with them has changed my life.

-Margie, Colorado

“God smiles when you be you” says the old adage. My Individual Retreat with Barry and Janae helped me do just that: reconnect with myself. The setting was enchanting, with the Smokey and Blue Ridge mountains as a background, the stillness of trees and sounds of nature to help me be fully present. Working with Barry felt like one of these touch points you reach in life when you meet someone special, who cares and helps you get closer to where you need to be.

Barry’s techniques are a mixture of traditional approaches and very personal additions developed over years of experience. Barry and Janae complement themselves perfectly and made me feel in a safe container where I could really let go and learn. Wisdom transpires in their presence and they can be the raw model you never had or simply the presence you need to challenge yourself.

Barry taught me very simple and practical techniques to center myself when I get triggered. He is always a tremendous source of information guiding me through his own experience, helpful books or by just being there listening. In itself learning to listen has been an important step for me. It brings compassion for the other but also for yourself and the world surrounding you. It is a long journey to become self-conscious, to be in the “here and now” and I am glad to have met Barry and Janae on the road.

– HH, New York

My retreat time with the Weinholds was invaluable. My son and I obtained a closer and more concise view of my own issues and style of relating to others than I had accomplished over a much longer period in other types of therapy. Their ability to keep me focused helped me look at what I want from life and learn how I can achieve that for myself. Of particular value was the information regarding conflict resolution. I am trying to incorporate those techniques in all of my relationships and find that I am not only clearer about what I want but I am doing a better job of hearing what others want. The Weinholds are gifted individually but they work beautifully together, providing an invaluable tapestry of therapy. The results are certainly worth the effort.

– Barbara M., Santa Barbara, California


Further Reading:

Schedule a Free 20 Minute Phone Consultation with Barry or Janae Weinhold

Learn more about Personal Coaching retreats

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