Our developmental model is based on Developmental Systems Theory, which provides us with a framework for understanding how humans evolve as a species. We discovered that couples, families, groups, organizations and nation-states and the human species as whole, follow the four same stages of development that individuals follow: codependence, counterdependence, independence and interdependence.
Love + Evolution = LOVEvolution
Each stage contains essential developmental processes that must be completed in order for an individual, couple, family, group, organization or nation-state to move on to the next stage. The most critical factor in our model is making sure that children are able to complete these processes in a timely and appropriate manner in a healthy family environment. This is what helps them move forward in their development. Emotionally supportive experiences put children on a solid track of development that we call LOVEvolution. Put simply, children who are loved unconditionally are able to give and receive love. So they are able to evolve.
When children experience relational breaks with parents and other adult caregivers, they are not able to complete these critical developmental processes in a timely and appropriate manner. Consequently, they carry baggage from unmet needs that put them on the Trauma Track of development. This residue of trauma and unmet needs show up later in life as addictions, codependency and counterdependency issues, relational instability, twisted beliefs, post-traumatic stress disorder and a susceptibility to con artists.
Dysfunctional Family Patterns Disrupts Development & Evolution
We also discovered that dysfunctional family patterns not only cause traumatic disruptions in the parent-child relationship during the first year of life, but intractable conflicts in adult relationships. Relational disruptions that are too early, too frequent or too long cause developmental shock, trauma and stress that get wired into the developing child’s nervous system.
We’ve used our developmental model to help many individuals, couples and families break free of dysfunctional family patterns involving codependency and counterdependency. Nothing gives us more joy than sharing this expansive and soul-satisfying process with our many readers and clients.