Parents with childrenOur perspective on parenting and caring for children comes from our own experiences of being parented, from parenting our four children between us, and from grand-parenting our grandchildren. So we personally know most of the challenges involved in breaking the cycles of traumatic reenactment, and want to support you in taking this step.

One of the biggest challenges is giving our children or other people’s children that we care for something that we personally didnt receive as a child. This can feel like flying blind. Here we share practical and solid information to help parents and childcare givers through their anxieties about am I doing the best thing for this child” and How can I care for children better than I was cared for

Adults who ask these kinds of questions are aware of their own childhood wounds, and want to avoid traumatizing children, their own or others, by unconsciously passing on their family-of-origin wounds. Supporting this kind of caregiver is very important to us, and one of our big dreams for helping advance the generations behind us.

childcareIn order to do this, however, parents and childcare providers must have outside support. It truly does take a village to raise a child. And village support has slowly disappeared as families leave their roots and scatter across the country, even the planet. We dream of helping people create families of choice to help fill this void, and also providing parents with information, tools, skills and relational support in this very important effort.

We hope that what we share here will help you come away with new tools to help deepen your bond with the children you care for, and new ideas to incorporate into your day-to-day care for children.

How Freaked Out Are You?

Janae Weinhold : June 10, 2015 9:58 pm : Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma

Barry K. Weinhold, Ph. D. 

How freaked out are you? If you are like most people, probably more than you would like. If you want to know why, read this blog. After writing and publishing 53 books, I’ve taken a different approach to helping people and launched my first online course. Freaked Out 101How Hidden Developmental Traumas Can Disrupt Your Life and Relationships is designed to help average people understand what causes them to freak out in certain situations and around certain kinds of people.

Freaked Out #2

This course will help your clients connect the dots between hidden early developmental traumas and the disruptions they might be experiencing in their current life and relationships. Our research shows that about 90 percent of adults have some hidden developmental trauma that is disrupting their lives in some important ways.

The ACE study, which conducted research on adults who had “adverse childhood experiences,” found this group had a greater risk of cancer, addictions, diabetes, stokes or depression. The greater the number of ACEs, the higher the risk. For example, four ACEs caused a 50 percent greater risk of heart disease than those with no ACEs.

How Freaked Out 101 Can Help Your Clients

The Introduction to the Freaked Out 101 course will give your clients a taste of online learning. It can be used as an adjunct to therapy and assigned as “homework” to help clients discover the underlying causes of their current problems.

  • Once clients identify the underlying causes of their current problems, they are able to change their perceptions, feelings, beliefs and behaviors more quickly.
  • Freaked Out 101 can help clients connect the dots between happened to them in early childhood and the current problems they are having in their lives and relationships that they are bring to therapy.
  • Once they are able to connect the dots between past and present, clients are less likely to “freak out” about freaking out.
  • Most people don’t remember adverse childhood experiences, or they’ve created a story that “normalizes” their past. They don’t understand the long-term impact of unhealed early childhood  traumas or unresolved conflicts on their adult life. Freaked Out 101 helps clients see the connections between their past and the distresses they face in current life situations.
  • Freaked Out 101 makes an ideal focus for a therapy group where members can share the experiences they are having while working their way through the course.

Here’s the link to a free Self-Quiz and a 30 minute Introduction to my online course. The feedback from field-testing the course was overwhelmingly positive. Several said that the course, “…changed my life.” You can’t get any better feedback than that.

We use this course as a helpful pre-therapy tool with our clients to prepare them for our therapy work. We typically work with our individual or couple clients on a 3-6 session contract, and find this is sufficient time to help them shift them to a higher level of functioning. By the end of our contract, they have been able to reach their initial goals .

You Are Invited to . . . .

  1. Take the Self-Quiz and score it. This will help you determine if you might have some hidden developmental traumas that cause you to freak out at times.
  2. View the Freaked Out 101Intro to the course and send me your feedback. What did you think of the course? Did it help you understand more about why people freak out?
  3. Forward the link to this article to other professionals in your network who you think might be interested in or benefit from Freaked Out 101
  4. Invite people in your network to view it and then forward it to others who might be interested in the course.
  5. Check out our Freaked Out No More Website for more information and resources.
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What is Developmental Trauma?

: February 4, 2013 8:01 am : Children's Mental Health, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma in Children, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Our Developmental Model, Positive Mental Health

Developmental trauma is the result of abandonment, abuse, and neglect during the first three years of a child’s life that disrupts cognitive, neurological and psychological development and attachment to adult caregivers. Developmental trauma, a new term in the field of mental health, has roots in both developmental psychology and traumatology. Developmental trauma is inflicted on infants and children unconsciously and most often without malicious intent by adult caregivers who are unaware of children’s social and emotional needs.
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Help for Children With High-Risk Behaviors

: January 12, 2013 7:40 pm : Children's Mental Health, Children's Mental Health, Developmental Trauma in Children, Discipline & Limit Setting, Our Best Advice, Parenting Advice, Parenting and Childcare, When to Seek Help

Janae B. Weinhold
Help for children with high-risk behaviors has emerged during the past twenty-five years. Play therapy is a very popular and effective clinical tool that helps the children heal developmental trauma through dramatic play activities. Other experiential therapies for children include sand tray therapy, which uses a small sand box and miniature figures for dramatic expression; art therapy, and theater.
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Counterdependency & Trauma During the Toddler Stage

Janae Weinhold : November 19, 2012 7:47 pm : Children's Mental Health, Counter Dependency, Counter-dependent Stage of Development, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma in Children, Discipline & Self-Regulation, Flight from Intimimacy, Parenting and Childcare, Positive Mental Health, Toddlers & The Terrible Twos

Developmental Trauma During the Toddler Stage of Development

Counterdependency is a set of protective adult behaviors that are caused primarily by developmental trauma between the ages of nine and 36 months—the toddler or “terrible twos” stage of development. During this period of time, children are separating from their mother and the dependency needs they have with her.
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TIME-IN vs. TIME-OUT

: November 12, 2012 7:37 pm : Children's Mental Health, Children's Mental Health, Conscious Parenting, Discipline & Limit Setting, Discipline & Self-Regulation, Independence Training, Our Best Advice, Parenting and Childcare, Positive Mental Health, Toddlers & The Terrible Twos

Time-in vs. Time-out are two very different ways approaches to managing children’s behavior. Time-out is typically used as punishment, while Time-In teaches children learn how regulate their emotions. In order for children to thrive emotionally, they must develop skills in emotional self-regulation.Time-Intime-out

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Developmental Shock

: November 4, 2012 10:52 pm : Children's Mental Health, Clinical Resources, Conscious Parenting, Conscious Parenting, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma in Children, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Positive Mental Health for Children

Developmental shock experiences happen without any conscious control or effort because they are regulated by the autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system has three parts: the parasympathetic, sympathetic and Social Engagement System. These parts all work together to help people maintain an internal sense of emotional balance.
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A Chronology of our Research on Developmental Trauma

: October 10, 2012 6:59 am : Clinical Resources, Developmental Process Work, Developmental Process Work, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Our Approach, Positive Mental Health, Positive Mental Health for Children, Print Books

Our research on developmental trauma began in the mid-1980s. Our heuristic research involved a subjective search through which we discovered the nature and meaning of early traumatic experiences on human development. Our research lead to the creation of methods and procedures for further investigation and analysis. In general, heuristic research methods help explain how and why people make decisions, come to judgments and solve their problems.
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Developmental Shock During the Bonding Stage

: October 5, 2012 9:31 am : Children's Mental Health, Clinical Resources, Codependency, Codependency, Conscious Parenting, Developmental Process Work, Developmental Process Work, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma in Children, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Our Approach, Our Best Advice, Positive Mental Health for Children, Securely Bonded Children

Shocked babyInfants often experience developmental shock during the bonding stage. When they experience abandonment, abuse or neglect during the bonding stage fall directly into shock states.

Their Mindbodies are so energetically attuned with their caregivers that they are truly devastated when they experience a break in their bonding. They are acutely aware of nonverbal communication with the caregivers–eye contact, their facial expressions, their body language, their voice tone; and the quantity and quality of touch.
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Insecurely Bonded Children

: January 12, 2012 4:33 pm : Children's Mental Health, Children's Mental Health, Codependency, Codependency, Conscious Parenting, Developmental Trauma, Our Best Advice, Parenting Advice, Parenting and Childcare, Positive Mental Health, Positive Mental Health for Children, Securely Bonded Children, When to Seek Help

Janae B. Weinhold

Insecurely bonded children tend to be anxious, withdrawn, isolated, aggressive, lack confidence, have low self-esteem. They also function at less than optimal levels socially, emotionally, mentally and physically. Insecure bonding is an unsafe and unpredictable state that develops as a result of living in a fear-based environment. It is the primary cause of addictions, attachments to things and the underlying cause of impaired mental health.
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Creating Environments that Foster Positive Mental Health in Children

: April 18, 2011 10:26 am : Children's Mental Health, Children's Mental Health, Conscious Parenting, Discipline & Limit Setting, Discipline & Self-Regulation, Our Best Advice, Parenting Advice, Parenting and Childcare, Positive Mental Health

Janae B. Weinhold

It is important to create social and emotional environments that foster positive mental health in children. They need stimulating activities, and consistent schedules that allow them to gently transition between activities. They also need protection from harm, particularly from other aggressive children, and firm but loving guidance that helps them develop optimally.
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