Our clinical resources are designed to treat developmental stress, trauma and shock in individuals, couples and families. Developmental Process Work (DPW), our clinical model, helps people heal the lingering effects of early relational experiences so that they are able to receive conditional love and share it with others. Our clinical resources help people become more intimate with each other, and also psychologically separate and individuated.

Clinical Resources: We Conducted Research in our LOVE-atory

love-atoryWe began developing DPW in our relational “LOVEatory” where we learned how to help each other heal our developmental wounds. The first thing we did was to close the exits—divorce would not be an option for us. This created the safety for us to open up our deepest relational wounds. Then we created healing tools and practices by drawing on our professional education and training. It has been and continues to be a powerfully intense and transformational couple experience. We share our stories about our transformative work in every book that we write.

Developmental Process Work: A Relational Approach to Healing

DPW is a relational approach that emphasizes the relationship between the therapist and the client. It also occurs in a therapeutic environment that is very safe, emotionally supportive, and builds trust. This is essential for helping people move forward in their development. DPW uses a MindBody framework and relational skills to help heal the effects of developmental shock, trauma or stress. DPW helps people learn essential relational skills that are necessary for experiencing heartful, attuned human relationships.

How Freaked Out Are You?

Janae Weinhold : June 10, 2015 9:58 pm : Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma

Barry K. Weinhold, Ph. D. 

How freaked out are you? If you are like most people, probably more than you would like. If you want to know why, read this blog. After writing and publishing 53 books, I’ve taken a different approach to helping people and launched my first online course. Freaked Out 101How Hidden Developmental Traumas Can Disrupt Your Life and Relationships is designed to help average people understand what causes them to freak out in certain situations and around certain kinds of people.

Freaked Out #2

This course will help your clients connect the dots between hidden early developmental traumas and the disruptions they might be experiencing in their current life and relationships. Our research shows that about 90 percent of adults have some hidden developmental trauma that is disrupting their lives in some important ways.

The ACE study, which conducted research on adults who had “adverse childhood experiences,” found this group had a greater risk of cancer, addictions, diabetes, stokes or depression. The greater the number of ACEs, the higher the risk. For example, four ACEs caused a 50 percent greater risk of heart disease than those with no ACEs.

How Freaked Out 101 Can Help Your Clients

The Introduction to the Freaked Out 101 course will give your clients a taste of online learning. It can be used as an adjunct to therapy and assigned as “homework” to help clients discover the underlying causes of their current problems.

  • Once clients identify the underlying causes of their current problems, they are able to change their perceptions, feelings, beliefs and behaviors more quickly.
  • Freaked Out 101 can help clients connect the dots between happened to them in early childhood and the current problems they are having in their lives and relationships that they are bring to therapy.
  • Once they are able to connect the dots between past and present, clients are less likely to “freak out” about freaking out.
  • Most people don’t remember adverse childhood experiences, or they’ve created a story that “normalizes” their past. They don’t understand the long-term impact of unhealed early childhood  traumas or unresolved conflicts on their adult life. Freaked Out 101 helps clients see the connections between their past and the distresses they face in current life situations.
  • Freaked Out 101 makes an ideal focus for a therapy group where members can share the experiences they are having while working their way through the course.

Here’s the link to a free Self-Quiz and a 30 minute Introduction to my online course. The feedback from field-testing the course was overwhelmingly positive. Several said that the course, “…changed my life.” You can’t get any better feedback than that.

We use this course as a helpful pre-therapy tool with our clients to prepare them for our therapy work. We typically work with our individual or couple clients on a 3-6 session contract, and find this is sufficient time to help them shift them to a higher level of functioning. By the end of our contract, they have been able to reach their initial goals .

You Are Invited to . . . .

  1. Take the Self-Quiz and score it. This will help you determine if you might have some hidden developmental traumas that cause you to freak out at times.
  2. View the Freaked Out 101Intro to the course and send me your feedback. What did you think of the course? Did it help you understand more about why people freak out?
  3. Forward the link to this article to other professionals in your network who you think might be interested in or benefit from Freaked Out 101
  4. Invite people in your network to view it and then forward it to others who might be interested in the course.
  5. Check out our Freaked Out No More Website for more information and resources.
Leave a response »

The Politics of Developmental Trauma

: April 25, 2015 7:49 pm : Clinical Resources, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma

Developmental Trauma is a political issue that has caused controversy among professionals, particularly those revising the 2013 Diagnostic & Statistical Manual. The Long Shadow of Trauma, a lead article in the March/April 2010 issue of Psychotherapy Networker (www.spychotherapynetworker.org) chronicles the politicization of developmental trauma as a diagnosis. Mary Sykes Wylie, the senior editor of the magazine, describes in great detail the focused efforts of many professionals to get Developmental Trauma Disorder included in the revised DSM V (Diagnostic Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association).
more »

2 Comments »

The Drama Triangle & Victim Consciousness

: April 8, 2013 5:25 pm : Breaking Family Patterns:How To Change Your Family Patterns, Codependency, Counter Dependency, Developmental Trauma, Drama Triangle, Intimate Relationships, Our Best Advice, Victim Consciousness

The drama triangle is the name of a psychological and social game that involves indirect and dysfunctional communication. The term, “Drama Triangle,” was first identified in 1968 by Stephen Karpman, an MD who practiced Transational Analysis. The Drama Triangle is now used in psychology and psychotherapy to describe a rotating series of dysfunctional behavioral roles that people use when they are in conflict.
more »

3 Comments »

What is Developmental Trauma?

: February 4, 2013 8:01 am : Children's Mental Health, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Developmental Trauma in Children, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Healing Developmental Trauma, Our Developmental Model, Positive Mental Health

Developmental trauma is the result of abandonment, abuse, and neglect during the first three years of a child’s life that disrupts cognitive, neurological and psychological development and attachment to adult caregivers. Developmental trauma, a new term in the field of mental health, has roots in both developmental psychology and traumatology. Developmental trauma is inflicted on infants and children unconsciously and most often without malicious intent by adult caregivers who are unaware of children’s social and emotional needs.
more »

Comments are closed

Families: Society’s Foundation

: January 2, 2013 6:34 pm : Families, Families-of-Choice, Family Conflicts, Family Meetings, Parenting and Childcare, Sustainable Relationships

Families are society’s foundation because they provide a template for all other relationships. Here we learn about ourselves, about others, and about how the world works. Families create a relational structure or model that we use for the rest of our lives, particularly in parenting our own children.
more »

Leave a response »

Sustainable Relationships YouTubes

Janae Weinhold : December 24, 2012 10:16 am : Building Sustainable Relationships, Codependency, Intimate Relationships, Sustainable Relationships

The Weinholds believe that sustainable relationships create a social safety net for people during times of economic uncertainty, political instability and rapid global climate. These videos examine the importance of having a web of relationships that provide social and emotional support during times of rapid change.
more »

1 Comment »

The Flight From Intimacy YouTubes

Janae Weinhold : December 16, 2012 1:17 pm : Counter Dependency, Counter-dependent Stage of Development, Flight from Intimimacy, Inner Work, Intimate Relationships, On Community Relationships, Our Best Advice, Self-Healing, Sustainable Communities, The Flight From Intimacy

The Flight From Intimacy YouTubes identify counterdependency as the result of developmental trauma between the age of 9 and 36 months. This trauma prevents the completion of the “pyschological birth” and a child’s emotional separation from his or her parents.The premise of The Flight From Intimacy is that counterdependency is a set of behaviors that can be changed through inner work, by using effective self-healing tools, through conscious, committed relationships, and through therapy.
more »

Leave a response »

How the False Self Gets Created

: November 27, 2012 9:57 am : Addictions, Codependency, Counter Dependency, Inner Work, Personal Growth, Self-Healing, The False Self

The False Self is an artificial persona that people create very early in life to protect themselves from re-experiencing developmental trauma, shock and stress in close relationships. This False or “public” Self appears polite and well-mannered, and puts on a “show of being real.” Internally, they feel empty, dead or “phoney,” unable to be spontaneous and alive, and to show their True Self in any part of their lives.
more »

5 Comments »

Family Pattern #5 – Getting Even

Barry Weinhold : November 26, 2012 4:28 pm : Healing Developmental Trauma

revengeThe desire for revenge or getting even after being betrayed or victimized is so strong that it can literally draw more abuse to you. This is true even if the abuse happened long ago when you were a child.

This story is about getting even. Sarah was mugged by a stranger while walking in her neighborhood. Victim Services referred Sarah to me for counseling because she was suffering from acute PTSD and was afraid to go out of her house at night. Her face was all battered and bruised with a bandage still on her head where she got cut pretty badly. She looked and sounded awful. Instead of sitting on my client sofa, she curled up on it in a fetal position.
more »

Leave a response »

Building Sustainable Relationships

: November 22, 2012 8:44 am : Building Sustainable Relationships, Conflict Resolution: The Partnership Way, Couples Coaching, CR for Couples, Developmental Trauma, Inner Work, Intimate Relationships, Relationship Conflicts, Sustainable Relationships, Training and Webinars

laughing coupleBuilding sustainable relationships requires learning new interpersonal skills, a disciplined commitment and the ability to love unconditionally. There aren’t any magical solutions for building sustainable relationships and lasting love–no quick tricks, fast fixes or fancy maneuvers. We aren’t selling “magical thinking” or magical tools. And the people who are selling this kind of stuff are con artists. We say this not only from our own experiences, each of us now with close to 50 years of married life experiences, but from our 30+ years of counseling hundreds of individuals, couples & families.
more »

Leave a response »
« Page 1, 2 »

Schedule a Free 20 Minute Phone or Skype Consultation with Barry or Janae Weinhold

Think the Weinholds might be able to help you? Find out with a free 20 minute phone consultation

Arrange a Personal Growth or Couples Retreat

Alone or in Couples, With Barry or Janae or Both

Looking for something?

Use the form below to search the site:


Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop us a note so we can take care of it!

Visit our friends!

A few highly recommended friends...